writing is...

Funny how for me the actual act of writing is a deterrent from the writing process itself. I mean I write in my head all the time. Ideas, thoughts, concepts.
But I realized at the post office today, while writing out a label for a package, how shoddy my handwriting is. That is pretty much the sole reason why I refrain from writing what I want, and my computer isn't attached to my hip, and the iPhone sucks to type a bunch of stuff...
Yet I still keep a Moleskine with me.

I think I'm going to write poetry again.
I have so much I need to release.

Also, songwriters night is starting up again at The Foundry...

So, how about some meat from my life??
Yes, even vegetarians have a meaty life.

Loneliness is a big deal. I'm surrounded by people and meet lots of new people everyday. But I still feel lonely. And no, its not a "God-shaped hole" because we're tight. Its a companionship kind of thing. Its so bad that I literally logged onto eharmony.com. I didn't sign up, but thats a move of desperation. And I'm not desperate. I just need something else to fill my thoughts. I'm not as busy as I want to be in my brain.
I need to read more.
I know that. But I feel like thats all I know; that I want to know more.

I feel pretty stupid sometimes.
Maybe thats why I'm alone?

Is it my looks?
Maybe I really am ugly after all.

Maybe its my personality.
I get bored with me, maybe everyone else does too.

Lack of confidence?
I think too much.

Is it my location?
I feel bigger than my body for sure.

I miss California a lot.
Too much sometimes.
Every change of season, my heart explodes.

I'm a passionate person, I know that.
I just wish certain people would too.





It sucks that the meat I chose to share today (and most of them) is my insecurities and problems.
I need another blog for good things.