some people...

dont get it.
At all.

I'm appalled that people think that attempts of intimidation through tyranny by means of extreme conservatism along with the notion that I can be controlled by mind games, still work on my psyche, (going on) five years out of high school.

I mean, with all that I've fought for, in my own life; a break away from the old to build the new from (an intentionally objective) scratch; a departure from the control I've allowed in my life other than the constants and desirables; a constant flip of circumstances in my head to refrain from a feeling of inferiority or intimidation, or even the flip that keeps one from getting "walked all over"; some would assume I could take the heat.

Still my war isn't over.
Battles have been fought, lost, and won.
And still there are many more to come.

I would love to shout a hearty f*** YOU!! to many entities.

But what kind of guy would I be??










I guess I could...no one reads my shit anyway.

September 11 was 2 days ago

And knowing all the pain America has gone through, the circumstances that have bound us together in camaraderie is deeper than a word. We were united to a common cause: maintaining and furthering our freedoms and liberties that people have died for in the horrors of war and in innocence attacked at home. We are one in that.

But yet, I am still selfish.

I feel insignificant. I crave recognition for attempting to be set apart, whether I deserve it or not. I want to know that I'm good at something, whether I am or not.

Funny thing is, I know why.
Funny thing is, I know how to make it go away.

I think it's all part of Gods grand design. His plan.
Not for me to hurt and struggle, but to seek redemption. To find balance. In Him, and elsewhere (more on that in my thoughts only).

I'm craving fellowship.