Time

I'm trying to figure out how the world works.
But everywhere I look, I find that thing, it lurks.
The driving force of modern humanity.
A whimsical duress brought on by insanity.
"Oh save us from ourselves" we cry
When deep inside we know its time.
Time to awaken our sleeping hearts
Time to finally give in to our parts
Of life, that is, this crazy journey
Before we wind up on a psych ward gurney.

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All over the world a sound is made,
It resonates off every aspect of existence yet we never TRULY hear it.
It’s there to be heard one day by those who listen carefully.
And if you don’t know what your listening for
You will definitely miss it.

Listen for the sound.

i have seven minutes left of battery

lets see if i can get my thoughts out before then.

i turn 23 in exactly a week. and birthdays, at least starting this year, are becoming a time of reflection.
i always thought that the time between the ages of 18-24 were the most influential years of life. at least the most productive in the sense of developing patterns of thought to be put towards the benefit of those older and younger. and i guess i just had the essence of it all wrong in my head.
the time spent during those years will be carried on through my life.
i have two more years.

oh the things often disregarded

like the hold that most influences have on our life. be it a wise mentor, or a silly TV show we like to watch with friends, but mainly music.
for me its been a wild ride. what influences you can draw things out of you that you never knew were there before but at the same time can place a desire for things that you never thought you would succumb to. things like chain smoking or reading.

im convinced that reading is the solution to many of society's problems. if we would all slow down and exercise a little imagination and expand our capacity to escape to places unseen and unreachable, maybe then we could get our heads out of our asses long enough to rediscover the part of life that make us smile.

sex. 's.

oh, the hold women have on men.
or is it the men, that womanize the women who then, in turn, plot revenge on the men to relentlessly torment men for making them into nothing more than cheap sex icons and very expensive currency, who have a hold on their own dicks?

is there a shift of expectations going on that i don't know about? or am i just now discovering a system set forth by years of development?

maybe its of the fear of becoming the status quo which creates a new status quo; henceforth unraveling the secret to the evolution of the human psyche.

i could type till my fingers bleed on this one.



or maybe, if everyone just got laid, the world just might be a better place...

writing is...

Funny how for me the actual act of writing is a deterrent from the writing process itself. I mean I write in my head all the time. Ideas, thoughts, concepts.
But I realized at the post office today, while writing out a label for a package, how shoddy my handwriting is. That is pretty much the sole reason why I refrain from writing what I want, and my computer isn't attached to my hip, and the iPhone sucks to type a bunch of stuff...
Yet I still keep a Moleskine with me.

I think I'm going to write poetry again.
I have so much I need to release.

Also, songwriters night is starting up again at The Foundry...

So, how about some meat from my life??
Yes, even vegetarians have a meaty life.

Loneliness is a big deal. I'm surrounded by people and meet lots of new people everyday. But I still feel lonely. And no, its not a "God-shaped hole" because we're tight. Its a companionship kind of thing. Its so bad that I literally logged onto eharmony.com. I didn't sign up, but thats a move of desperation. And I'm not desperate. I just need something else to fill my thoughts. I'm not as busy as I want to be in my brain.
I need to read more.
I know that. But I feel like thats all I know; that I want to know more.

I feel pretty stupid sometimes.
Maybe thats why I'm alone?

Is it my looks?
Maybe I really am ugly after all.

Maybe its my personality.
I get bored with me, maybe everyone else does too.

Lack of confidence?
I think too much.

Is it my location?
I feel bigger than my body for sure.

I miss California a lot.
Too much sometimes.
Every change of season, my heart explodes.

I'm a passionate person, I know that.
I just wish certain people would too.





It sucks that the meat I chose to share today (and most of them) is my insecurities and problems.
I need another blog for good things.